help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
