You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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