I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
