ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
