I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
