I hate all girls vehemently.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
