Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Randomize
