We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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