My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
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