Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
