No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
