Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
