woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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