Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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