Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
