Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
