The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
