we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I am mentally ready for anal.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
