Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
