You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Houston, we have a squirter
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
