sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I am spending my child support on dildos
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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