hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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