8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
