I am puke
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
