3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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