I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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