Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
