I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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