i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
