I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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