Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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