i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
