I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize