i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
