The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
you guys were way drunker than both of me
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
