Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
