once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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