If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
