when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
