They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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