I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
