Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
