yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
