Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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