I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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