What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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