So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
