im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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