Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
