if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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