I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Blood and glitter go together right?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
