well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize