i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
