What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
