i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
