His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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