You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
