Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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